To answer your first question, I absolutely did not want to get rid of my Ed, even though it tortured me in my head. We don’t think about the damage it does to our bodies, just like alcoholics don’t think about their livers. Most people with any type of addiction my know in the back of their head it’s best to get help but the fear of living without the addiction is stronger than the need to get better. I know this can be very hard to wrap your head around when you haven’t experienced it yourself, and that is understandable. I never once, not even once, looked forward to getting rid of it. Not until I was a bit into treatment and could start to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t want to speak for everyone, however, and I know there are some who get into treatment and immediately breathe a deep sigh of relief.